Over at Tomato Nation there’s a series of polls on annoying xmas things – hilarious, go and vote – and I realised only really have two xmas-related gripes.
1. The way people act in the supermarket while shopping for their xmas.
Actually that might be a tiny bit too specific, as I find the way people generally act in the supermarket to be extremely annoying. The patrons of our local supermarket are blithering idiots at the best of times, but put xmas into the mix and all bets are off.
I mean what the hell, dude, you just verbally abused an elderly woman who took the last pack of strawberries! I agree that strawberries are a necessary part of any xmas dinner, but srsly, swearing at an old age pensioner is not the answer here.
And the dithering! I’m probably as bad as the next person at this but come on, I’ve got a list, I know what I need, just let me get in to the deli counter. You need to make a decision about ham; it’s really not that hard.
And then with the leaving your trolley in the middle of the aisle while making “sorry! won’t be a minute!” faces at me, although that happens all year round although it shouldn’t.
2. The Little Drummer Boy.
Wow, just typing that title has me wracked with waves of loathing. I hate that song so much. So very much.
When I was at primary school we had to sing that song every year, many many times. Actually things took a turn for the absurd when we got a headmistress who fancied herself to be musical and creative – like the time we acted out the song. I was forced to play the part of Mary, and trust me, my smiling and nodding was both frosty and unenthusiastic.
I used to dread having to sing TLDB – I can still remember that it generally came after Away in a Manger and before Silent Night. The dread that I felt singing Away in a Manger, knowing the the hell that is TLDB was next.
And I could never understand the stupid song! At a fairly early age I worked out that the gift of percussion was inappropriate for many occasions so what possessed that boy to offer it as a birth gift?! “Mary smiled at me”, yeah sure, she’s just pushed a human being out of her body, the last things she wants is your rum-pah-pum-pums.
And why, WHY was there a little drummer boy in Bethlehem?! I seriously didn’t understand this – we did quite a lot of Bible study (Catholic school, after all) and drummers didn’t feature prominently in any of the stories I’d read.
In short, TLDB is a stupid song which makes no sense and makes me break out in a cold sweat.
I haven’t really done much about xmas so far but I’ve got it all sorted out in my head, I think. I just need to get on and do it.
I have put my advent calendar up:
because hello, it’s chocolate for breakfast.